// Do you like to please the people around you?
// Do you feel best when others are happy?
// Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough time and emotional space to work on your own goals?
// Do you get that hint of guilt when you can’t meet up with someone unless you let go of time you scheduled for yourself? Like going to the gym or relaxing at home?
I used to. I still do at times!
Since I am currently writing my first book, I need lots of space to let my mind run free, let my creative flow go get submerged in my writing vibe. So I give myself gentle reminders to say NO to things that might be fun or smart business wise, but that would take up precious writing space. Giving yourself permission to have a clear vision of how to spend your time, might be one of the best things you do for yourself. It is definitely an act of radical SelfLove.
Giving your full YES
is the highest form of giving.
Your YES holds your full attention. Your presence.
To be able to truly say YES to anything, you have to be able to say NO.
If you give everything your YES, you really aren’t giving anything your YES. By saying NO to things that don’t fully resonate with you at that moment in time, you are keeping your energy clean. Then when you do say YES, you can be fully present and your YES is a true YES.
For me, it is essential to have some delicious time to hang out around the house. To sleep in, reorganize my closet if I feel like it, to check out my books, to hike or just sit in the sun. My yoga and meditation asks for some wonderful me-time. Furthermore, I need an abundance of time to write my book. I choose to not meet up with friends at times so I have time to do all of this. Feeling that I have a choice in this, is the first step to more freedom and more presence.
Saying NO might be the most loving thing you do for yourself.
Your body, your brain, your mind needs time to chill, to linger, to do nothing. It recharges you so you have energy to spend again.
One of the biggest fears that lead to saying YES when we really feel NO, is the fear of rejection. We fear that the other person might be disappointed, get mad, think negatively about us and in an attempt to prevent that, we say yes. What is the belief that leads you to say YES when you feel no? Saying NO doesn’t mean you don’t value the other person. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care or are selfish.
It simply means that you are seeing your own worth. That you value your time. That you wish to be fully present when you do meet up. It means you are valuing your goals. For me, it means I am being true to myself, the vision I have for my life and my priorities. Saying NO increases the value of your YES.
Saying NO to something, might be saying YES to yourself
Feeling and holding good healthy boundaries is a challenge for many of us. I make it a priority to hold space for clean energy. Being able to have my no’s being real no’s and my yesses being real yesses, is a great way to keep it clean.
You body already knows when it’s a YES and when it’s a NO. With what answer do you feel more expansion in your energy? With what answer do you feel more relaxation in your body? Listen and honor the whispers she gives you.
What will you be saying NO to, in order to open up to a stronger and more heart-felt YES?